MATTER FROM CARS

MATER from "Cars The Movie"

Mater & Lightning, side by side photo...

Daniel Lawrence Whitney

As Larry the Cable Guy

Date of Birth

17 February 1963, Pawnee City, Nebraska, USA

Birth Name

Daniel Lawrence Whitney

Nickname

Larry
The Freight Train of Comedy

Height

5' 10" (1.78 m)

Spouse

Cara Whitney

(2005 - present) 2 children

Trade Mark

His catchphrase, "Git-R-Done!"
Thick Southern accent
Sleeveless shirts
Baseball cap with a fish hook on it
The voice of Mater in Cars (2006)

LIGHTNING McQUEEN

Lightning McQueen, typically referred to by his surname McQueen, and occasionally called "Stickers" by his girlfriend Sally , is an anthropomorphic racecar and the protagonist in the 2006 animated Pixar film Cars, and the deuteragonist of its sequel Cars 2. He was named after Pixar animator Glenn McQueen who died from skin cancer in 2002; it was erroneously believed after the film debuted that the name was influenced by actor and noted racing buff Steve McQueen. He is based on generic NASCAR vehicles, but with design influences from the Mazda Miata and Dodge Viper . Late in the film, he is painted much like the Chevrolet Corvette C1. It is revealed on Lightning McQueen's Facebook page, after the events of the 1st movie, he won the Piston Cup from 2007-2010. He is voiced by actor Owen Wilson in the films, Mater and the Ghostlight, the video game and Keith Ferguson in Cars Toons, Cars Mater-National, and Cars Race-O-Rama.

OWEN WILSON

Wilson was born in Dallas, to photographer Laura Cunningham Wilson and Robert Andrew Wilson, an advertising executive and operator of a public television station. He has an older brother, Andrew, and a younger brother, Luke, both also involved in film making. His family, originally from Massachusetts, is Irish American and Roman Catholic.

Family and relationships

The 2002 release of the album C'mon C'mon by former girlfriend Sheryl Crow features the song Safe and Sound which is dedicated to Wilson in the liner notes and is said to be an autobiographical account of their relationship.

On January 10, 2011, Wilson's representative announced that Wilson and his girlfriend, Jade Duell, were expecting a baby. Just four days later, on January 14, it was confirmed that Duell had given birth in Hawaii to a baby boy, Robert Ford Wilson.

MR.INCREDIBLE

Robert Michael "Bob" Parr

Born in London, England, Bob started his career in the British Armed Forces as a Royal Marine. Having completed more than six years Commando service, he volunteered for UK Special Forces where he spent a further 18 years before retiring in late 1999. During his Special Forces career he served primarily with the Special Air Service (SAS) Regiment, but was also seconded to a number of Intelligence units and agencies where he served with distinction. He was twice honoured at a national level, receiving a Mention in Despatches (MID) for gallantry on operations and being appointed a Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE) by Her Majesty the Queen for outstanding service with Special Forces.

On retirement from UK Special Forces, Bob embarked on a second career in the commercial security industry. Heading up a bold fisheries protection operation working from northern Somalia - an initiative that dealt effectively with piracy around the Horn of Africa for more than a year - he quickly became the Operations Manager of Hart Security Limited overseeing dynamic security contracts around the world. On leaving Hart, his career took an unexpected turn when he was contracted to CBS' The Amazing Race as a security consultant. This in turn led to a long engagement by CBS as a Senior Producer, netting him five Primetime Emmy Awards. He appeared as host for The History Channel's hit show Shadow Force, for which he was also an Executive Producer and co-owner.

Co-founder, Director and co-owner of leading Risk Management company SO3 Projects, Bob has overseen security for numerous screen productions around the world and has provided consultancy services to a wide variety of additional clients. He is also the owner of [[SO3 Media], a New Zealand based production company. He became a New Zealand citizen in 2008, and now holds joint citizenship with the UK. Bob holds a Master's Degree in Security and Risk Management, awarded by the University of Leicester with Distinction. An accomplished singlehanded Ocean Yachtmaster and author, he works as a television Producer and Risk Management consultant from Houston and splits his remaining time between ocean cruising, writing, and his permanent home in New Zealand's magnificent South Island. Bob has been elected a Fellow of the Royal Geographical Society and a Member of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences. He is also a subscribing member of the Royal Institute of International Affairs (Chatham House) and the Royal United Services Institute (RUSI).

 

Mr. Incredible

Robert "Bob" Parr, aka Mr. Incredible, (voiced by Craig T. Nelson) is the main protagonist of the film. Bob possesses tremendous strength, and heightened resistance to harm. He also has enhanced senses. He is married to Helen Parr, the superheroine known as Elastigirl, and they have three children together: Violet, Dashiell Robert ("Dash"), and Jack-Jack.

Bob found forced retirement difficult, and often had to cheat his way out of the house on Wednesdays so that he could continue his superheroics. He was shocked to discover that his "Number 1 fan", Buddy Pine, had reformed himself as the villain Syndrome after Mr. Incredible had squelched Pine's wish to be his ward in an attempt to protect him, and it was not until Syndrome threatened the family's lives that Bob realized that his family was his "greatest adventure".

His red "super suit" (the term for superhero costumes in this movie), designed by Edna Mode, appears to have the same level of durability as Mr. Incredible himself. In his prime, Mr. Incredible drove a gadget-laden car, the Incredibile, not unlike the ones driven by James Bond or Batman. The silhouette of a newer version of the Incredimobile for the entire family is seen in the end credits, and makes a full appearance in the comic series.

His face was physically modeled after director Brad Bird.

Mr. Incredible was chosen as the fifth top Pixar character by IGN. Mr. Incredible was also voted the eighth top Pixar character by Empire.

StarWars: Master Yoda

Master Yoda

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STARWARS: MASTER YODA

 FRANK OZ

Frank Oz (born Richard Frank Oznowicz; May 25, 1944) is a British-born American film director, actor, voice actor and puppeteer who is known for creating and performing the characters Miss Piggy and Fozzie Bear in The Muppet Show and for directing films, including the 1986 Little Shop Of Horrors remake and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. He is also the operator and voice of Yoda in the Star Wars series.

Oz was born in Hereford, England, the son of Frances and Isidore Oznowicz, both of whom were puppeteers. His parents were refugees from the Holocaust who moved to England after fighting the Nazis with the Dutch Brigades. Oz's Dutch/Polish father was Jewish and his Flemish mother was a lapsed Roman Catholic. Oz moved to Oakland, California, United States, with his parents when he was five years old. He attended Oakland Technical High School and Oakland City College.

 MASTER YODA 

The Phantom Menace in Star Wars Episode I: In the timeline of the films, Yoda first appears in the The Phantom Menace. In this film, Qui-Gon brings the young Anakin Skywalker to the Jedi Council, claiming that the boy is the "Chosen One" who will bring balance to the Force, and requests to train him once Obi-Wan has completed the trials necessary to become a Jedi Knight. As told to young Anakin Skywalker, " Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering..' Yoda plays a key role in that body's initial decision to deny the request; he believes that the boy is clearly affected by his years as a slave, and that he still clings too tightly to the memory of his mother to be trained safely. Yoda thinks his future is clouded.

After Qui-Gon's death at the hands of Darth Maul, however, the Jedi Council rescinds their previous decision, despite Yoda's misgivings.

Attack of the Clones In Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, set 10 years later, Yoda is a key Republic general at the Battle of Geonosis, when the clone trooper Army of the Republic is first deployed. He leads the group which rescues Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala from execution at the hands of the Confederacy of Independent Systems, aka the Separatists. At the climax of the battle, Yoda duels with Separatist leader and Sith Lord Count Dooku, who was once Yoda's Jedi apprentice. This confrontation ends with Dooku making his escape by threatening Yoda's injured comrades, Anakin and Obi-Wan. Although seemingly frail, the ancient Yoda demonstrates a legendary agility and mastery of lightsaber combat and acrobatics.

Clone Wars During the Clone Wars micro series Yoda is made a General like many of the Jedi Knights and Masters. Yoda escorts Padmé on their journey to a planet but Yoda senses several Jedi in distress on Illum and uses the Jedi mind trick to convince Captain Typho to take them there. Yoda saves the two Jedi and finds a message of Dooku giving the orders to destroy the Jedi Temple.

As the Clone Wars progress Yoda fights alongside Mace Windu in the Battle of Coruscant and is the one who tries to understand with Master Windu the logic behind the Sepratists massive attack on the Republic Capital. The two Jedi Masters realize that this is a distraction for Grievous to kidnap the Chancellor. Windu goes onto a Clone Hanger to try and prevent the kidnapping.

Revenge of the Sith In Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Yoda leads the Jedi Council in seeking out the mysterious Sith Lord Darth Sidious. Yoda uses his incredible sensitivity and power with the Force to sense the Sith Lord's presence, finally concluding that Sidious is someone within Supreme Chancellor Palpatine's inner circle. Palpatine himself sidetracks the mission, however; by now, the Chancellor has amassed near-absolute power in the Galactic Senate, and begins interfering in Jedi affairs. He appoints Anakin as his personal representative on the Council, which would effectively grant the headstrong young man the rank of Jedi Master. The Council denies Anakin the promotion, however, fearing that giving Palpatine's representative the rank of Master would be the same as giving Palpatine himself a vote in the Council. Embittered by the perceived snub, Anakin begins to lose faith in the Jedi.

Earlier, Anakin seeks Yoda's counsel about his intense, prophetic visions that someone close to him will die (he does not tell the Jedi Master that the "someone" is Padmé, now his secret wife and pregnant with his child; emotional attachments are forbidden by the Jedi Code.) Yoda, unaware of the intensity of Anakin's love for Padmé, tells him to "Train yourself to let go... of everything you fear to lose." Unsatisfied, Anakin instead turns to Palpatine, who reveals himself as none other than Darth Sidious, and manipulates the young Jedi into becoming his Sith apprentice Darth Vader with the promise that, with powers only the dark side can give, he can save his wife.

When Palpatine, now self-appointed Emperor of the Galactic Empire, implements Order 66, Yoda is on Kashyyyk, overseeing the battle between the Separatist forces and a combined command of clone troopers and Wookiees. Through the Force, he feels the deaths of each of the Jedi as they are cut down by the very troops they commanded. He swiftly kills the clone troopers sent to dispatch him, escapes with the help of Wookiee leaders Tarfful and Chewbacca, and returns to Coruscant, where he and Obi-Wan fight their way into the Jedi Temple to stop a trap for any Jedi who also survived Order 66. Upon discovering a holographic recording revealing Anakin as the assassin, Yoda sends Obi-Wan to kill his former Padawan. Obi-Wan tells Yoda he cannot fight Anakin, but Yoda insists, saying, "To fight this Lord Sidious, strong enough you are not."

Subsequently, Yoda battles Palpatine in a titanic struggle that wrecks the Senate building. The fight seems evenly matched between the two patriarchs of both sides of the Force, neither able to overcome the other. Unable to defeat the Sith Lord, Yoda is forced to retreat and go into exile so that he may hide from the Empire and wait for another opportunity to destroy the Sith.

Meanwhile, Anakin is defeated by Obi-Wan, losing his limbs and nearly burning to death. The cybernetic enhancements Palpatine administers to save his life render him (seemingly) less than human. His transformation into a fearsome cyborg serves as a grim fulfillment to Yoda's words to Obi-Wan upon learning of Anakin's fall from grace: "The boy you trained, gone he is, consumed by Darth Vader."

At the end, it is revealed that Yoda has been in contact with Qui-Gon's spirit. Although this is given little attention in the film, the novelization revealed that Yoda actually becomes Padawan to the deceased Jedi Master's Force ghost, learning the secret of immortality from him and passing it on to Obi-Wan.

Yoda is also instrumental in deciding the fate of the Skywalker children after Padmé dies in childbirth, recommending that Luke and Leia be hidden from Darth Vader and Palpatine in remote locations. Other than the ancient Jedi Master, only the Organas, the Lars, and Obi-Wan know of their placement. Originally, Obi-Wan wants to have both Yoda and himself take one child each to separate spots and train the children in the ways of the Force, but Yoda realizes that there are other ways to learn discipline than just Jedi training, and that Luke and Leia will need to be trained differently if they are going to defeat the Empire. In addition, the twins' anonymity would be more difficult to protect if the Sith were to discover the remaining Jedi Knights before Luke and/or Leia were ready. Yoda then retreats to Dagobah.

The Empire Strikes Back In Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, set 22 years after Revenge of the Sith, Luke Skywalker arrives on Dagobah to seek Yoda's guidance. This happens after Luke is instructed to do so, by the Force-ghost of Obi-Wan Kenobi (Obi-Wan had sacrificed himself in a duel with Vader in A New Hope).

This is Yoda's first appearance, the most beloved and best-remembered of all. Yoda's appearance was based on Freeborn, but Freeborn gave the design eyes based on Albert Einstein's. The puppet was fully operated by Frank Oz, with two technical assistants guiding him on the soundstage.

After initial reluctance, Yoda agrees to teach Luke in the ways of the Force. Prior to finishing his training, however, Luke chooses to leave Dagobah in order to confront Darth Vader and save his friends from the Empire's grasp at Bespin. Yoda insists to Luke that he is being lured into a trap, and that he must stay to complete his training. However, Luke cannot forsake his friends who are in danger. He promises to return to complete his training.

Return of the Jedi in Star Wars Episode VI: Yoda's final chronological appearance is in Return of the Jedi, set a year later. Yoda, sick and greatly weakened by old age, informs Luke that he has completed his training but will not be a Jedi until he confronts Darth Vader; he also confirms that Vader is Luke's father, which the Sith Lord had told a shocked Luke in the previous film. Yoda then dies at the age of 900 and becomes "one with the Force." He leaves Luke with the knowledge that "there is another Skywalker." Moments later, Obi-Wan's Force ghost helps Luke come to the realization that the sibling Yoda spoke of is none other than Leia. When the Emperor tries to kill Luke with Force lightning, Vader redeems himself and once again becomes Anakin Skywalker. By killing his master to save his son, he fulfills the prophecy and brings balance to the Force. Anakin dies in his son's arms as the Death Star crumbles around them. Later that night, Luke sees his father's spirit looking at him with pride and gratitude, in the company of Obi-Wan Kenobi and their once and future master, Yoda.

Star Trek: Commander Spock

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STAR TREK: SPOCK

Leonard Simon Nimoy

as Commnader Spock was born March 26, 1931) is an American actor, film director, poet, musician and photographer. Nimoy's most famous role is that of Spock in the original Star Trek series (1966–1969), multiple films, television and video game sequels.
Nimoy began his career in his early twenties, teaching acting classes in Hollywood and making minor film and television appearances through the 1950s, as well as playing the title role in Kid Monk Baroni. In 1953, he served in the United States Army. In 1965, he made his first appearance in the rejected Star Trek pilot, "The Cage", and would go on to play the character of Mr. Spock until 1969, followed by seven further feature films and a number of guest slots in various sequels. His character of Spock generated a significant cultural impact and three Emmy Award nominations; TV Guide named Spock one of the 50 greatest TV characters. Nimoy also had a recurring role in Mission: Impossible and a narrating role in Civilization IV, as well as several well-received stage appearances.

Spock is a fictional character in the Star Trek media franchise. First portrayed by Leonard Nimoy in the original Star Trek series, Spock also appears in the animated Star Trek series, two episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, seven of the Star Trek feature films, and numerous Star Trek books, comics, and video games. In the 2009 film Star Trek, Nimoy reprised his role alongside Zachary Quinto, who played a younger, alternate-timeline version of the character, with Jacob Kogan playing Spock as a child.
Spock serves aboard the starship Enterprise, serving as science officer and first officer, and later as commanding officer of two iterations of the vessel. Spock's mixed human-Vulcan heritage, as well being the first Vulcan to serve in Starfleet, serve as an important plot element in many of the character's appearances. Along with James T. Kirk and Leonard McCoy, he is one of the three central characters in the original Star Trek series and its films. After retiring from Starfleet, Spock serves as a Federation ambassador, contributing toward for the détente between the Federation and the Klingon Empire. In his later years, he serves as Federation ambassador to the Romulan Empire and becomes involved in the ill-fated attempt to save Romulus from a supernova.

Star Trek: Lieutenent Worf

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STAR TREK: LIEUTENANT WORF

Lieutenant Commander Worf is
Michael Dorn (born December 9, 1952) is an American actor best known for his role as the Klingon Worf from the Star Trek franchise.

Dorn was born in Luling, Texas, the son of Allie Lee (née Nauls) and Fentress Dorn, Jr.[1] He grew up in Pasadena, California. He studied radio and television production at the Pasadena City College. From there he pursued a career in music as a performer with several different rock music bands, travelling to San Francisco and then back to Los Angeles.

He first appeared as a guest on the television show W.E.B. in 1978. The producer was impressed with his work, so he introduced Michael to an agent who introduced him to acting teacher Charles Conrad to study acting for six months. He then landed a regular role on the television series CHiPs. The first movie he had a role in was Rocky (1976) as Apollo Creed's bodyguard.

Lieutenant Commander Worf

Dorn's most famous role to date is that of the Klingon Starfleet officer Lieutenant (later Lt. Commander and then Commander) Worf in Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. He said he got the role by showing up at the interview with several people. He did not smile or speak or sit, but stood in a corner in rigid attention posture, like the stereotypical Klingon warrior. When called, he marched into the room, scowled, and shook the interviewer's hand sharply. After reading, he gruffly thanked the director, and walked out. He attributes this reading in character as a Klingon warrior to getting the part.[2]

Dorn has appeared on-screen in more Star Trek episodes and movies as the same character than anyone else: he appeared in 175 episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, missing three: "Code of Honor", "Haven" and "Shades of Gray," 102[3] episodes of Deep Space Nine, missing four during his time on the show: "Rocks and Shoals", "The Magnificent Ferengi", "Chrysalis" and "Prodigal Daughter" and he also appeared in five Star Trek movies, including The Undiscovered Country (not as Worf), Generations, First Contact, Insurrection, and Nemesis, bringing his total to 281 appearances as Worf. Colm Meaney is the only other person who has made over 200 appearances on Star Trek with 216 episodes; Majel Barrett had 233 "appearances" but many of these were voice only.

Dorn's appearance in the film Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country was as Colonel Worf, representing Captain James T. Kirk and Dr. Leonard McCoy at their trial on Qo'noS and also unmasked the real assassin: Colonel West. Although never confirmed on screen, the character of Colonel Worf was intended to be the grandfather of Star Trek: The Next Generation's Worf.

Dorn is also one of six actors (the other actors being Jonathan Frakes, Kate Mulgrew, George Takei, Avery Brooks and Majel Barrett) to lend his voice to Star Trek: Captain's Chair, reprising his role of Lieutenant Commander Worf.

Dorn's voice deepened from his years of playing Worf.[4] His two favorite episodes of The Next Generation are "The Offspring" and "The Drumhead".[5]

Shrek the story

STORYLINE

Pinocchio: I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy!
[nose grows]
Captain of Guards: Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.
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Captain of Guards: He can talk?
Donkey: That's right, fool! Now I'm a FLYING talking donkey! You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly! Ha, ha!
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Donkey: And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin' outta my butt that day!
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Shrek: [to Donkey] WHY are you following me?
Donkey: Oh, I'll tell you why.
[starts to sing]
Donkey: 'Cause I'm all alone / There's no one here beside me / My problems have all gone / There's no one to deride me! / But ya gotta have friends...
Shrek: STOP SINGING! Well, it's no wonder you don't have any friends!
Donkey: Wow! Only a TRUE friend would be that truly honest!
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Donkey: Whoa. Look at that. Who'd wanna live in a place like that?
Shrek: That would be my home.
Donkey: Oh and it is LOVELY. You know, you're really quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a NICE boulder.
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[eyeing the "KEEP OUT" signs surrounding Shrek's home]
Donkey: You, uh... you don't entertain much, do you?
Shrek: I like my privacy.
Donkey: Y'know, me too. That's another thing we have in common. I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give someone a hint and they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence...
[big awkward silence ensues]
Donkey: ...Can I stay with you?
Shrek: What?
Donkey: Can I stay with you? Please?
Shrek: Of course!
Donkey: Really?
Shrek: NO!
Donkey: Please! I don't wanna go back there, you don't know what it's like to be treated as a freak!... Well, maybe you do... but that's why we gotta stick together! You gotta let me stay!
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Donkey: We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!
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[Shrek discovers the seven dwarves have placed Snow White on his kitchen table]
Shrek: Oh, no no no no! Dead broad OFF the table!
Dwarf: Well, where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken!
Shrek: Huh?
[rushes over to his bed to find... ]
Big Bad Wolf: What?
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Lord Farquaad: [playing with Gingy's legs] Run, run, run as fast as you can / You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!
Gingerbread Man: You're a monster!
Lord Farquaad: [tossing legs away] I'm not the monster here, YOU are! You and the rest of that fairytale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now tell me, where are the others?
Gingerbread Man: Eat me!
[spits in Farquaad's face]
Lord Farquaad: I've tried to be fair to you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end! Tell me, or I'll...
[reaches down]
Gingerbread Man: NO! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
Lord Farquaad: All right, then! Who's hiding them?
Gingerbread Man: Okay, I'll tell you... Do you know... the Muffin Man?
Lord Farquaad: The Muffin Man?
Gingerbread Man: The Muffin Man.
Lord Farquaad: Yes, I know the Muffin Man. W-who lives down on Drury Lane?
Gingerbread Man: Well, she's married to the Muffin Man...
Lord Farquaad: The Muffin Man?
Gingerbread Man: THE MUFFIN MAN!
Lord Farquaad: She's married to the Muffin Man...
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Lord Farquaad: Mirror, mirror, on the wall / Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?
Magic Mirror: Well, technically, you're not a king.
Lord Farquaad: Ah, Thelonius?
[Thelonius the Executioner smashes a small looking glass]
Lord Farquaad: You were saying?
Magic Mirror: [nervous] Er, I mean you're not a king YET! But you can become one! All you have to do is marry a princess...
Lord Farquaad: Go on...
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Magic Mirror: Our first bachelorette is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot-tubbing any time. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Let's hear it for Cinderella! Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the Land of Fantasy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her frozen, dead lips and find out what a live wire she is. Give it up for Snow White! And last but not least is a fiery redhead who lives in a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by a boiling lake of lava. But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona!
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[arriving at Duloc]
Shrek: [observing a giant building] That must be Lord Farquaad's castle... Do you think he's maybe compensating for something?
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Clockwork Chorus: [the Information Center puppets begin singing] / Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town / Here we have some rules, let us lay them down: / Don't make waves, stay in line / And we'll get along fine / Duloc is a perfect place
Clockwork Chorus: Please keep off of the grass / Shine your shoes, wipe your... FACE! / Duloc is, Duloc is / Duloc is a perfect... place!
[the booth takes Donkey and Shrek's photo; showing them stunned]
Donkey: Wow. Let's do that again!
Shrek: [grabs Donkey] No, no, no!
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Donkey: I just know, before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin'.
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[Donkey keeps humming the "Duloc" song]
Shrek: All right, you're going the right way for a smacked bottom.
Donkey: Sorry 'bout that.
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Lord Farquaad: [to his knights] The winner of this tournament - no, no, the privilege - will have the honour of rescuing the beautiful Princess Fiona from the fiery pit of that dragon! Should the winner fail to return, the runner-up shall take his place, and so on and so forth... Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.
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[Shrek enters the tournament]
Lord Farquaad: What's that? It's hideous!
Shrek: Well, that's not very nice.
[looks at Donkey]
Shrek: It's just a donkey.
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Shrek: Thank you, thank you very much. I'm here 'til Thursday. Try the veal.
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Donkey: Okay, let me get this straight: you gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad'll give you back your swamp, which you only don't have 'cause he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?
Shrek: You know what? Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.
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Shrek: For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
Donkey: Example?
Shrek: Example... uh... ogres are like onions!
[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes... No!
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry?
Shrek: No!
Donkey: Oh, you leave 'em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs...
Shrek: [peels an onion] NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
[walks off]
Donkey: Oh, you both have LAYERS. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. What about cake? Everybody loves cake!
Shrek: I don't care what everyone else likes! Ogres are not like cakes.
Donkey: You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious!
Shrek: NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.
Donkey: Parfait's gotta be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!
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[as they approach Fiona's castle, Donkey smells the air]
Donkey: Whoa, Shrek, did you do that? Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that, my mouth was open and everything!
Shrek: Donkey, if that was me, you'd be dead!
[sniffs]
Donkey: That's brimstone... we must be getting close.
Donkey: Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about no brimstone. I know what I smelled, it wasn't no brim and it didn't come off no stone neither...
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Donkey: Shrek, remember when you said that ogres have layers?
Shrek: Oh, aye?
Donkey: Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right there on our sleeves.
Shrek: Wait a second, donkeys don't have sleeves.
Donkey: You know what I mean.
Shrek: Oh, you can't tell me you're afraid of heights?
Donkey: No, I'm just uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge, over a *boiling lake of lava*.
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Donkey: I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt, too. Those stairs won't know which way they're going... take drastic steps, kick it to the curb. Don't mess wit' me. I'm the Stair Master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here, right now, I'd step all over it...
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[Shrek and Donkey are crossing a wooden bridge over a moat of lava]
Donkey: Don't look down, don't look down, don't look down, keep on moving, don't look down...
[a board under Donkey breaks, prompting Donkey... ]
Donkey: Shrek, I'm looking down!
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Shrek: That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.
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Donkey: So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?
Shrek: In the tower, waiting for us to rescue her.
Donkey: I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.
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Shrek: Donkey, two things okay? Shut... up!
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Shrek: Go over there and see if you can find any stairs.
Donkey: Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the Princess.
Shrek: The Princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower.
Donkey: How do you know that?
Shrek: I read it in a book once.
Donkey: Cool! You handle the dragon, I'll handle the stairs!
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[Shrek rescues Fiona]
Princess Fiona: What are you doing? You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.
Shrek: You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?
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Princess Fiona: [hears a roar] You didn't slay the dragon?
Shrek: It's on my to-do list, now come on!
Princess Fiona: But this isn't right! You're meant to charge in, sword drawn, banners flying! That's what all the other knights did!
Shrek: Yeah, right before they burst into flame!
Princess Fiona: That's not the point...!
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Donkey: Hi, Princess!
Princess Fiona: It talks!
Shrek: Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick!
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The Donkey: All right, I hope you heard that? She called me a "noble steed." She thinks I'm a steed.
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Princess Fiona: The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.
Shrek: Uh, no...
Princess Fiona: Why not?
Shrek: I... have helmet hair.
Princess Fiona: Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer.
Shrek: Oh, no, you wouldn't... tst.
Princess Fiona: But... how will you kiss me?
Shrek: [bangs his head] What? That wasn't in the job description.
The Donkey: Maybe it's a perk!
Princess Fiona: No, it's destiny! You must know how it goes! The Knight rescues the Princess, and then they share true love's first kiss...
The Donkey: With Shrek? Whoa, whoa, whoa... you think, you think that Shrek is your true love?
Princess Fiona: Well, yes!
[Shrek and Donkey look at each other and burst into laughter]
Princess Fiona: What is so funny?
Shrek: Let's just say, I'm not your type, all right?
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[Donkey and Shrek are looking at constellations in the night sky]
The Donkey: So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?
Shrek: Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying.
The Donkey: Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there?
Shrek: That's the moon.
The Donkey: Oh, okay.
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[Shrek burps in front of Donkey and Fiona]
The Donkey: Shrek!
Shrek: What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say.
The Donkey: But that's no way to behave in front of a princess.
[Fiona burps louder]
Princess Fiona: Thanks.
The Donkey: [to Shrek] She's as nasty as you are.
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Shrek: Hold the phone.
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Princess Fiona: Well, when one lives alone, one has to learns these things in case there's...
[points]
Princess Fiona: THERE'S AN ARROW IN YOUR BUTT.
Shrek: What?
[looks at arrow]
Shrek: Oh, would you look at that.
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[looking for a certain type of flower]
Donkey: Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Man, this would be so much easier if I wasn't COLOR-BLIND!
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[Donkey thinks he's dying]
The Donkey: Oh man. I can't feel my toes.
[Looks down and yelps]
The Donkey: I don't have any toes.
[Sits down]
The Donkey: I think I need a hug.
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Donkey: You love this woman, don't ya?
Shrek: Yes.
Donkey: Do you wanna hold her?
Shrek: Yes.
Donkey: Please her?
Shrek: Yes.
Donkey: Then ya gotta, gotta try a little *tenderness*! Chicks love that romantic crap.
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Princess Fiona: I wanted to show you before...
[turns into an ogre]
Shrek: Well... er... THAT explains a lot.
Lord Farquaad: [revolted] It's disgusting!
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[Shrek bursts into Fiona's and Farquaad's wedding]
Lord Farquaad: Now really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding?
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Donkey: All right, nobody move! I've got a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it! I'm a donkey on the edge!
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[the dragon has eaten Lord Farquaad and spits out his crown]
Donkey: Huh, celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?
[receives applause from the crowd]
Donkey: Good evening, people.
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Shrek: Fiona? Are you all right?
[Fiona looks at herself, and sees she is still an ogre]
Princess Fiona: Yes. But, I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful.
Shrek: But you are beautiful.
Donkey: I was hoping this would be a happy ending...
[Shrek and Fiona kiss]
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Gingerbread Man: God bless us, everyone.
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[first lines]
[a fairytale book appears]
Shrek: [narrating] Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love, and true love's first kiss.
[tears out a page from the book and shuts it]
Shrek: [laughs] Like *that's* ever gonna happen! What a load of...
[flushes toilet and comes out]
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Princess Fiona: Where are you going? The exit's over there!
Shrek: [going to save Donkey] Well, I have to save my ass.
Princess Fiona: [shocked] What kind of knight ARE you?
Shrek: One of a kind.
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Shrek: Does anyone know where this Farquaad guy is?
[Donkey jumps up and down, shouting out like a young child]
Donkey: Oh, I know! I know where he is!
Shrek: Does anyone ELSE know where to find him?
Donkey: Pick me! Pick me! Me! Me!
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Shrek: So... what did Fiona say about me?
Donkey: Ah, what're you asking me for? Why don't you go and ask her!
Shrek: The wedding! We'll never make it in time!
Donkey: Ha-ha-ha! Never fear! Where there's a will, there's a way. And I have a way.
[blows a whistle, and Dragon appears in the sky; an overjoyed Shrek grabs Donkey and cuddles him]
Donkey: All right, all right, that's enough. No one likes a kiss-ass.
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Donkey: You're so wrapped up in layers onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings!
Shrek: [hiding in the toilet] Go away!
Donkey: See? There you are, doing it again! Just like you did to Fiona! All she ever did was like you maybe, even love you!
Shrek: LOVE me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature! I heard the two of you talking!
Donkey: She wasn't talking about you, okay? She was talking about... uh... somebody else.
Shrek: [comes out] She... wasn't... talking about me?
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Shrek: If I treat you so badly, then why did you come back, huh?
Donkey: Because that's what friends do, they FORGIVE EACH OTHER.
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[Shrek sneaks up on a mob about to storm his swamp]
Villager 1: There's his lair... let's get him!
Villager 2: Do you know what that thing could do? It'll grind your bones for its bread!
Shrek: Well, actually, that would be a giant. Now ogres, oh, they're much worse! They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin; they'll shave your liver; squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.
Villager 1: [brandishes a torch at Shrek] BACK! Back, ya beast! Back! I warn ya!
[Shrek licks his fingers and puts out the torch]
Villager 1: Right.
[Shrek roars at the villagers, rendering them petrified for some time]
Shrek: [whispers] This is the part where you run away.
[the villagers scarper off]
Shrek: And stay out!
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Shrek: Listen, little donkey, take a look at me! What am I?
Donkey: Ah... really tall?
Shrek: No! I'm an OGRE! You know, "grab your torch and pitchforks!" Doesn't that bother you?
Donkey: Nope.
Shrek: Really?
Donkey: Really, really.
Shrek: [taken aback] Oh.
Donkey: Man, I like you. What's your name?
Shrek: Er... Shrek.
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Captain of Guards: [to Shrek] You there! Ogre!
Shrek: Aye?
Captain of Guards: [to both Shrek and Donkey] By the order of Lord Farquaad, I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement.
Shrek: Oh, really? You and what army?
[the Captain looks behind him and notices that his army had run away and he does the same]
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Shrek: [to Donkey] I already told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me! I live alone! *My* swamp! ME! Nobody else, understand? *Nobody*! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, TALKING *DONKEYS*!
Donkey: But I thought...
Shrek: [interrupting] Yeah, well, you know what? You thought wrong.
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[Blind Mouse is on Shrek's shoulder, sniffing]
Blind Mouse: I found some cheese.
[Blind Mouse bites Shrek in the ear]
Shrek: Ow!
Blind Mouse: Ugh! Awful stuff.
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The Donkey: Wait a minute, I know what's going on. You're afraid of the dark.
Princess Fiona: Why... yes!
The Donkey: Don't worry, princess. I used to be afraid of the dark until... No, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark.
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The Donkey: [waking up] Uh... What'd I miss? What'd I miss?
[suddenly notices the guards walking by]
The Donkey: [trying to throw his voice] Who said that? Couldn't have been the donkey.
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Princess Fiona: [as ogre] Donkey, shh, shh. It's me... in this body.
Donkey: [gasps] Oh, my God, you ate the princess!
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Merry Men: [singing] Ta da, da da da da - whoo!
Monsieur Hood: I steal from the rich and give to the needy...
Merry Man: He takes a wee percentage...
Monsieur Hood: But I'm not greedy - I rescue pretty damsels, man I'm good!
Merry Men: What a guy, ha ha, Monsieur Hood!
Monsieur Hood: Break it down...
[Merry Men Irish step dance]
Monsieur Hood: I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid...
Merry Men: What he's basically saying is he likes to get...
Monsieur Hood: Paid!
Monsieur Hood: So, when an ogre in the bush grabs a lady by the tush, that's bad.
Merry Man: [joining in] That's bad, that's bad, that's bad!
Monsieur Hood: When a beauty's with a beast it makes me awfully mad!
Merry Men: He's mad, he's really, really mad!
Monsieur Hood: Now I'll take my blade and ram it through your heart Keep your eyes on me, boys, 'Cause I'm about to start...
[Fiona swoops in and kicks him - the music stops]
Princess Fiona: Man, that was annoying!
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Donkey: Say, Shrek, what're we gonna do with our swamp?
Shrek: OUR swamp?
Donkey: You know, when we're though rescuing the princess and all that...
Shrek: Donkey, there's no "we", no "our". There's just ME and MY swamp! And the first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land.
Donkey: You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me very deep just now... You know what, Shrek? I think this whole wall thing is to keep somebody out!
Shrek: [sarcastic] No! You think?
Donkey: Are you hiding something?
Shrek: Let it go, Donkey.
Donkey: Oh, this is one of those onion things, isn't it?
Shrek: No, it's one of those drop-it-and-leave-it-alone things.
Donkey: Why won't you talk about it?
Shrek: Why do you WANT to talk about it?
Donkey: Then why are you blocking?
Shrek: I'm not blocking!
Donkey: Oh, yes you are!
Shrek: Donkey, I'm warning you...
Donkey: Just who are you trying to keep away? Just tell me that, Shrek?
Shrek: EVERYONE! All right?
[pause]
Donkey: Oh, now we're getting somewhere!
Shrek: Oh, for the love of Pete...
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Donkey: [the bridge is swaying] Don't do that!
Shrek: Don't do what? Oh, you mean this?
[makes the bridge sway]
Donkey: Yes, that!
Shrek: Yes. Yes, do it. Okay.
[sways the bridge some more]
Donkey: No, Shrek!
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Captain of Guards: What have you got?
Old Woman: Well, I have a talking donkey.
Captain of Guards: Really? Well, that's good for ten shillings... if you can prove it.
Old Woman: Go ahead, little fella.
[Donkey says nothing]
Captain of Guards: Well?
Old Woman: He's just a little nervous. He's really quite the chatter box. Talk, you stupid dolt...
Captain of Guards: I've heard enough. Guards!
Old Woman: He can talk, really.
Old Woman: [moves Donkey's mouth while trying to throw her voice] I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest thing you ever saw.
Captain of Guards: Get her out of my sight!
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Lord Farquaad: Knights, new plan! The one who slays the ogre, will be named champion! Have at him!
[all the knights draw their weapons and converge on Shrek]
Shrek: Okay, now... can't we just settle this over a pint!
[holds up a friendly mug, to no avail]
Shrek: No? All right then! COME ON!
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Baby Bear: This cage is too small.
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[last lines]
Donkey: Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
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Shrek: Back off!
Donkey: YOU back off!
Shrek: This is MY swamp!
Donkey: OUR swamp!
Shrek: Let go, Donkey!
Donkey: YOU let go!
Shrek: Stubborn jackass!
Donkey: Smelly ogre!
Shrek: ...Fine!
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[Dragon, having a crush on Donkey, is cuddling him]
Donkey: [desperately talking] I don't want to rush into a... physical relationship... I'm not that emotionally ready for a... uh... commitment of this... uh... magnitude! Really, that's the word I'm looking for, magnitude... Huh! Hey, that is unwanted physical contact! Hey! What're you doing? Okay, okay, okay... let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time... I mean, we should really get to know each other first, you know, as friends or maybe even as pen pals, you know, coz I'm on the road a lot, but I just love to get a card... Hey, hey, hey, don't do that, that's my *tail*, that's my personal tail, you're gonna tear it off! I don't give permission to... Hey, what're you gonna do with that? Oh, no, no, no, no... no!
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Donkey: Okay, so here's another question: Say there's a woman who digs you, right, but you really don't like her *that* way - now how do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? How do you do that?
Princess Fiona: Just tell her she's not your true love!
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Donkey: Hey, what's your problem, Shrek, what you got against the whole world anyway, huh?
Shrek: Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with ME! People take one look at me and go "Aargh! Help! Run! A big stupid ugly ogre!" They judge me before they even know me - that's why I'm better off alone...
Donkey: You know, Shrek... when we first met, I didn't think you were a big, stupid, ugly ogre.
Shrek: Yeah, I know.
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[Shrek and Fiona are having dinner on the last day of their journey]
Princess Fiona: Mmmm... This is good... mmm... this is really good... what is it?
Shrek: A weed rat, cooked rotisserie style!
Princess Fiona: No kidding... Oh, this is delicious!
Shrek: Well, they're also great in stews. Now I don't mean to brag, but I make a MEAN weedrat stew!
[They both look over at the kingdom of Duloc]
Princess Fiona: I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night...
Shrek: Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime... I'll cook all kinds of stuff for you: swamp toad soup, fish-eye tartar, you name it!
Princess Fiona: I'd like that...
[he sucks up a weedrat tail, and awkwardly laughs. She smiles back at him, and their eyes meet. In the background, a love ballad, "You Belong To Me," plays]
Shrek: Um... Princess?
Princess Fiona: Yes... Shrek?
Shrek: I... um... I was wondering... are you... um... are you going to eat that?
[he makes a gesture of frustration when she isn't looking. She places the weedrat in his hand, and they lean towards each other... ]
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Shrek: Um... Fiona?
Princess Fiona: Yes, Shrek?
Shrek: I... I love you.
Princess Fiona: Really?
Shrek: Really, really!
Princess Fiona: Mmmm... I love you too.
[they kiss. Thalonius writes "Awwww" on a cue card for the audience. Fiona floats up in the air and her enchantment breaks in a blaze of light... ]
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Lord Farquaad: [Slowly and dramatically to the looking glass] Magic... mirror... on... the wa...
Gingerbread Man: DON'T TELL HIM ANYTHING!
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Donkey: I don't get it, Shrek. Why didn't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? You know, throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread? You know, the whole ogre trip.
Shrek: Oh, I know. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village, put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleens and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?
Donkey: Uh... no, not really, no.
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Princess Fiona: You're an ogre...
Shrek: Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming?
Princess Fiona: Well, yes, actually. Oh... this is wrong. This is all wrong! It's not supposed to be an ogre!
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Shrek: Princess, I was SENT to rescue you by Lord Farquad, okay? HE's the one that wants to marry you.
Princess Fiona: Well, why didn't he come to rescue me?
Shrek: Good question! You can ask him that when we get there...
Princess Fiona: But I'm supposed to be rescued by my true love, not by some ogre a-a-and his PET!
Donkey: Well, so much for noble steed!
Shrek: Look, Princess, you're not making my job any easier...
Princess Fiona: Well, I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You tell Lord "Far-Quad" that if he wants to rescue me PROPERLY, I'll be waiting for him right here!
[sits down]
Shrek: Hey! I'm nobody's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy!
Princess Fiona: You wouldn't dare...!
[Shrek carries her off]
Shrek: You coming, Donkey?
Donkey: Yeah, I'm right behind you.
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Princess Fiona: The sooner we get to Duloc, the better!
Donkey: Oh, you gonna love it there, Princess, it's beautiful!
Princess Fiona: And my groom-to-be Lord Farquad, what's he like?
Shrek: Well, let me put it this way, Princess: men of his STATURE are in SHORT supply.
[chortles]
Donkey: Yeah! Though there are those who think LITTLE of him!
[laughs]
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[Monsieur Hood abducts Fiona]
Shrek: Hey, that's my princess! Go find your own!
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Princess Fiona: Fare thee well, ogre.
[leaves with Farquaad]
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[staring up at the starry night]
Shrek: [pointing at a constellation] ... and that one, that's Throwback, the only ogre to spit over three wheat fields.
Donkey: Okay, I see it. Hey, Shrek, can you tell my future from these stars?
Shrek: Well, the stars don't tell the future, Donkey, they tell stories. That one is Bloodnok, the Flatulent. You can guess what HE's famous for...
Donkey: Okay, now I know you're making that up!
Shrek: [pointing] No! See, that's him, and this is the group of hunters running away from his stench.
Donkey: Man, that ain't nothing but a bunch of little dots.
Shrek: You know, Donkey, things are more than what they seem, hmm?... Forget it.
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[Shrek, his swamp filled with fairytale creatures, glares at Donkey]
Donkey: Hey, don't look at me, I didn't invite them!
Pinocchio: Oh, gosh, no one invited us!
Shrek: What?
Pinocchio: We were forced to come here!
Shrek: By who?
Little Pig: Lord Farquaad. He huffed, and he puffed... and he signed an eviction notice.
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[Shrek spots a lighted window in the Dragon's castle]
Shrek: Well, at least we know where the Princess is. But where's the...?
Donkey: Dragon!
[runs away]
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[Dragon looms above Donkey]
Donkey: Oh, what large teeth you have!
[Dragon roars]
Donkey: I mean, white sparkly teeth! I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach or something 'cause that's one dazzling smile you got there! And do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know something, you're...
[the Dragon looks closer and Donkey sees she's female]
Donkey: A girl dragon... Oh, sure, I mean of COURSE you're a girl dragon! You're just reeking of feminine beauty and... hey, what's the matter with you, you got somethin' in your eye?
[Dragon blows out a heart-shaped cloud of smoke]
Donkey: Ohh... well, you know, I gotta go. I'm an asthmatic, I don't hold with smoke rings and stuff. SHREK!
[Dragon picks Donkey up and carries him away]
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Shrek: Donkey? What are you doing?
Donkey: [gathering branches] I would think YOU of all people would recognize a wall when you saw one!
Shrek: Well, yeah... but the wall's supposed to go AROUND my swamp, not through it!
Donkey: It is around your swamp! That's your half and this's mine!
Shrek: Oh, your half! Hmmm!
Donkey: Yes, MY half! I helped rescue the Princess! I did half the work, I get half the booty! Now hand over that big rock, the one that looks like your head!
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Lord Farquaad: Princess Fiona... she's perfect!
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Shrek: I live in a swamp! I put up signs! I'm a terrifying ogre! What do I have to do to get a little privacy?
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[a squad of archers aim at Shrek]
Captain of Guards: Shall I give the order, my Lord?
Lord Farquaad: No. I have a better idea...
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[Fiona notices it's sunset]
Princess Fiona: [uneasy] Shouldn't we stop to make camp?
Shrek: No, that'll take longer. We can keep going.
Princess Fiona: But, there's... ROBBERS, in the woods!
Donkey: Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camp is definitely starting to sound good!
Shrek: Hey, come on, I'm scarier than anything we're gonna meet in this forest...
Princess Fiona: [in Shrek's face] Find me somewhere to make camp NOW!
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Princess Fiona: Shrek? I'm... I'm worried about Donkey, he doesn't look so good...
Donkey: What you talking about? I feel fine!
Princess Fiona: Well, that's what they always say, and then, and then, and then next thing you know you're on your back!
[Donkey leers at Fiona]
Princess Fiona: ...Dead!
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Donkey: Oh, now I really see what's going on...
Shrek: I don't know what you're talking about...
Donkey: Hey, I don't even wanna hear... Look, I'm an animal, I got instincts, and I know you two were diggin' on each other!
Shrek: Oh, you're crazy! I'm just bringing her back to Farqusad!
Donkey: Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones! Just go in there and tell her you how you feel!
Shrek: Arrgh! There's nothing to tell! Even if I DID have... I'm not saying I am, 'cause I don't... she's a princess! And I'm...
Donkey: An ogre?
Shrek: Yeah. An ogre.
[walks away]
Donkey: Where're you going?
Shrek: To get... more firewood.
[Donkey looks askance at a full pile of firewood]
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Donkey: Princess?... You look... uh... different.
Princess Fiona: [as ogre] I'm UGLY! Okay?
Donkey: Yeah! What was it, something you ate? I told Shrek those weedrats were a bad idea!
Princess Fiona: No. it's... it's been this way as long as I can remember.
Donkey: What d'you mean? Look, I ain't never seen you like this before!
Princess Fiona: It only happens when the sun goes down.
[looks at her reflection in a water barrel]
Princess Fiona: "By night one way, by day another / Thus shall be the norm / Till you receive true love's kiss / then, take love's true form."
Donkey: Oh, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry.
Princess Fiona: It's a spell! When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I become this, this horrible ugly beast! I was placed in the tower to await the day when my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry Lord Farquaad before the sun sets, and he sees me... like this.
[starts sobbing]
Donkey: All right, all right, calm down. It's not so bad. You're not that ugly... well, you are. I ain't gonna lie, you ARE ugly. But you only look like this at night, Shrek's ugly 24/7!
Princess Fiona: But Donkey, I'm a princess! And this is not how a princess is supposed to look!
Donkey: How about you don't marry Farquaad?
Princess Fiona: I have to. Only the true love's kiss can break the spell.
Donkey: Well, you're kind of an ogre. And you and Shrek, well, you got a lot in common.
Princess Fiona: Shrek?
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[last words]
Lord Farquaad: I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have...
[gets eaten by Dragon]
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[Shrek roars at Donkey]
Donkey: Wow, that was really scary. And if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work your breath will certainly get the job done, cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something cause your breath STINKS!
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[arriving at the Dragon's castle]
Shrek: Sure, it's big enough... but look at the location!
[laughs]
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Captain of Guards: [snaps a witch's broomstick in half] Your flying days are over!
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[Shrek is hit by an arrow]
Princess Fiona: Oh!... oh, this is all my fault...
Donkey: Why, what's wrong?
Princess Fiona: Shrek's hurt!
Donkey: Shrek's hurt? Shrek's HURT? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die!
Shrek: Donkey, I'm okay!
Donkey: You can't do this to me, Shrek, I'm too young for you to die! Keep your feet elevated! Turn your head and cough! Does anybody know the Heimlich...?
Princess Fiona: [grabs Donkey] Donkey, calm down! If you want to help Shrek, go into the forest and look for a blue flower with red thorns.
Donkey: Blue flower, red thorns! Okay, I got it! Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns! Don't die, Shrek, and if you see any long tunnels, stay away from the light!
Shrek: DONKEY!
Donkey: Okay, okay. Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns!
[runs off]
Shrek: What're the flowers for?
Princess Fiona: For getting rid of Donkey.
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[Thelonius dunks the Gingerbread Man in a glass of milk]
Lord Farquaad: That's enough! He's ready to talk.
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Shrek: Okay, you two, head for the exit!
[Fiona and Donkey run, Shrek grabs a sword]
Shrek: I'll take care of the Dragon...
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Old Woman: [watching Shrek fight] The chair! Give him the chair!
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Donkey: [staring at the priest] Oh, I think he already said it...
Shrek: Oh, for the love of Pete!
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SHREK

Mike Myers (I)

Mini Biography

Michael John Myers was born in 1963 in Scarborough, Ontario. His television career really started in 1988, when he joined "Saturday Night Live" (1975), where he spent six seasons. He brought to life many memorable characters, such as Dieter and Wayne Cambell. His major movies include Wayne's World (1992), Wayne's World 2 (1993), So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993), the Austin Powers movies and The Cat in the Hat (2003).

Myers was born and raised in Scarborough, Ontario, Canada, the son of British-born parents Eric Myers (1922–1991), an insurance man and World War II veteran of the Royal Engineers, and his wife Alice E. Hind (born 1926), an office supervisor and veteran of the Royal Air Force.^[1] Both of his parents are from Liverpool, England. He has two older brothers, Peter Myers and Paul Myers, an indie rock singer-songwriter, broadcaster and author. Myers is of English, Irish, and Scottish ancestry,^[2] and was raised Protestant.^[3]
Myers began school at Sir John A. Macdonald Collegiate Institute but changed to the Stephen Leacock Collegiate Institute in Scarborough, Ontario. He began performing in commercials at age eight, and at ten he made a commercial for British Columbia Hydro Electric, with Gilda Radner playing his mother. In high school he would become the Wayne’s World character later known as Wayne Campbell. When he graduated from high school, he joined the Second City Theatre. However, he left to tour Britain with comedian Neil Mullarkey.

About the Story...

When a green ogre called Shrek discovers his swamp has been 'swamped' with all sorts of fairytale creatures by the scheming Lord Farquaad, Shrek sets out, with a very loud donkey by his side, to 'persuade' Farquaad to give his swamp back. Instead, a deal is made. Farquaad, who wants to become the King, sends Shrek to rescue Princess Fiona, who is waiting for her one true love. But once they head back with Fiona, it starts to become apparent that not only does Shrek like Fiona, but Fiona is keeping something secret...

Shrek

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KungFu Panda

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KUNGFU PANDA

Jack Black (I)
Jack Black was born in California, and attended the University of California at Los Angeles. While at UCLA, he was a member of Tim Robbins's acting troupe and it was through this collaboration that led to his 1992 film debut in Bob Roberts (1992). Although he was just a background voice in his first film, Jack's appearances in such television shows as "The X-Files" (1993), his breakthrough performance in High Fidelity (2000), and his rock-comedy band Tenacious D have created an ever-growing cult following.

Thor --- God of Thunder

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Lord Voldemort

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LORD VOLDEMORT

Ralph Fiennes

Date of Birth
22 December 1962, Ipswich, Suffolk, England, UK

Birth Name
Ralph Nathaniel Twisleton-Wykeham-Fiennes

Height
6' (1.83 m)

Mini Biography

Eldest of 6 children born to photographer Mark Fiennes and his wife, Jini - aka Jennifer Lash - a novelist. Siblings are Martha Fiennes, a director; Magnus, a musician; Sophie, a producer; and twins Joseph Fiennes, an actor, and Jacob, a gamekeeper. Foster brother Michael (Mick) is an archaeologist. Cousin is British explorer Sir Ranulph Fiennes. Attended Bishop Wordsworth Boys' School, the Chelsea College of Art & Design, and the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art. Joined Britain's Royal National Theatre in 1987 and the Royal Shakespeare Company in 1988.
IMDb Mini Biography By: Gustaf Molin

Spouse
Alex Kingston (September 1993 - 28 October 1997) (divorced)

Trade Mark

Rich, mellifluous voice.

Often plays mysterious characters with equally mysterious pasts

Lord Voldemort

Lord Voldemort was born as Tom Marvolo Riddle and is the primary antagonist of the Harry Potter series written by British author J. K. Rowling. Voldemort first appeared in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (published as Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone in the United States), which was released in 1997. Voldemort appeared either in person or in flashbacks in each book and film adaptation in the series, except the third, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, where he is only mentioned.

In the series, Voldemort is the archenemy of Harry Potter, who according to a prophecy has "the power to vanquish the Dark Lord". Voldemort's obsession with blood purity signifies his aim to rid the Wizarding world of Muggle (non-magical) heritage and to conquer both worlds, Muggle and Wizarding, to achieve pure-blood dominance. Almost no witch or wizard dares to speak his name, instead referring to him as "You-Know-Who", "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" or "the Dark Lord". He was born Tom Marvolo Riddle, the last descendant of wizard Salazar Slytherin,[2] one of the four founders of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

According to an interview with Rowling, "Voldemort" is pronounced with a silent 't' at the end, as is common in French.[1] This was the pronunciation used by Jim Dale in the first four U.S. audiobooks; however, after the release of the film version of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, in which the characters who dared refer to him by name pronounced it with the "t", Dale altered his pronunciation to that in the films. The pronunciation has since been used in the other films as well.

THOR --- GOD of THUNDER

Chris Hemsworth

Date of Birth = 11 August 1983, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

Height = 6' 3" (1.91 m)

Spouse = Elsa Pataky (December 2010 - present)

Younger brother of Luke Hemsworth.

Won Logie for Most Popular New Male Talent (May 2005)

Older brother of Liam Hemsworth.

Best friend of Sam Perry.

Chris studied American Dialect at Screenwise Film

& TV School for Actors in Sydney Australia.

In 2004, he auditioned for Home and Away, for the part of Robbie Hunter (played by Jason Smith), but failed to get the part. He was subsequently recalled for the part of Kim Hyde. He was successful in gaining the role of Kim Hyde and moved to Sydney to join the cast of Home and Away, appearing in 171 episodes of the series.^[3] He left the cast of Home and Away on 3 July 2007. He has received two Logie Award nominations and has won one for Most Popular New Talent on Home and Away back in 2005.
Hemsworth portrayed James T. Kirk's father, George Kirk, in the opening scenes of J. J. Abrams' 2009 film Star Trek. He also played the character Kale in the thriller A Perfect Getaway the same year.^[4] Hemsworth will star in upcoming horror film The Cabin in the Woods executive produced by Joss Whedon and will portray Jed Eckert in the upcoming Red Dawn remake.^[5]
Hemsworth portrayed Thor in a film adaption of the Marvel Comics superhero of the same name. Initially, his brother Liam reached the final four for the role, while Chris failed to make the shortlist, but he won the role after director Kenneth Branagh decided to re-evaluate earlier candidates.^[6] Chris Hemsworth received advice from his brother, saying "We're competitive, but in the best way."^[6] His mother helped him with his audition tape by playing Odin.^[7] Hemsworth is also scheduled to reprise his role as Thor in The Avengers, also based on a Marvel comic about a team of superheroes assembled to protect Earth, which is scheduled for release in 2012.^[8]
In the 2010 film CA$h, Hemsworth played Sam Phelan, an economically troubled young man. CA$h marked Hemsworth's Hollywood debut, as it was the first film he shot upon his arrival in the United States. In behind-the-scenes interviews, the film's director Stephen Milburn Anderson stated that Hemsworth had only been in the United States for six weeks when he had auditioned for the role. Anderson said, "Here's a guy who is young, has the right look, is a very good actor and, let's face it, he's beautiful. So I say, we need to get this guy in. I was very impressed".^[9] On November 2010 The Hollywood Reporter named Hemsworth as one of the young male actors who are “pushing – or being pushed” into taking over Hollywood as the new “A-List”.^[10][11] MTV Networks' NextMovie.com named him one of the 'Breakout Stars to Watch for in 2011'.^[12]

In Norse mythology, Thor (from Old Norse Þórr) is a hammer-wielding god associated with thunder, lightning, storms, oak trees, strength, destruction, fertility, healing, and the protection of mankind. The cognate deity in wider Germanic mythology and paganism was known in Old English as Þunor and in Old High German as Donar, stemming from a Common Germanic *Þunraz (meaning "thunder").

Ultimately stemming from Proto-Indo-European religion, Thor is a prominently mentioned god throughout the recorded history of the Germanic peoples, from the Roman occupation of regions of Germania, to the tribal expansions of the Migration Period, to his high popularity during the Viking Age, when, in the face of the process of the Christianization of Scandinavia, emblems of his hammer, Mjöllnir, were worn in defiance and Norse pagan personal names containing the name of the god bear witness to his popularity. Into the modern period, Thor continued to be acknowledged in rural folklore throughout Germanic regions. Thor is frequently referred to in place names, the day of the week Thursday ("Thor's day") bears his name, and names stemming from the pagan period containing his own continue to be used today.

In Norse mythology, largely recorded in Iceland from traditional material stemming from Scandinavia, numerous tales and information about Thor are provided. In these sources, Thor bears at least fourteen names, is the husband of the golden-haired goddess Sif, is the lover of the jötunn Járnsaxa, and is generally described as fierce-eyed, red-haired and red-bearded.[1] With Sif, Thor fathered the goddess (and possible valkyrie) Þrúðr; with Járnsaxa, he fathered Magni; with a mother whose name is not recorded, he fathered Móði, and he is the stepfather of the god Ullr. The same sources list Thor as the son of the god Odin and the personified earth, Fjörgyn, and by way of Odin, Thor has numerous brothers. Thor has two servants, Þjálfi and Röskva, rides in a cart or chariot pulled by two goats, Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjóstr (that he eats and resurrects), and is ascribed three dwellings (Bilskirnir, Þrúðheimr, and Þrúðvangr). Thor wields the mountain-crushing hammer, Mjöllnir, wears the belt Megingjörð and the iron gloves Járngreipr, and owns the staff Gríðarvölr. Thor's exploits, including his relentless slaughter of his foes and fierce battles with the monstrous serpent Jörmungandr—and their foretold mutual deaths during the events of Ragnarök—are recorded throughout sources for Norse mythology.